Erm hi wow

bellig-on-the-reg:

tforge13:

wordssetinstony:

tricksterkids:

cadegrey:

mjwatson:

i don’t really understand where penises go when boys wear pants

sometimes to the left

sometimes to the right

sometimes up

sometimes down

sometimes painful

sometimes not

depends

take it back now y’all

One hop this time

please don’t jump on my penis

charlie brown

(via what-am-ii-doing-here)

the-vashta-nerada:

chronukkahlylate:

the-vashta-nerada:

the-vashta-nerada:

one time i picked up a penny and i hit my head on the door handle and i have a tiny scar from it and that was the third worst time i ever picked up a penny

the second worst time i ever picked up a penny was when one time i picked up a penny on the street and i almost got hit by a car

what’s the worst time you ever picked up a penny

i was in an airport and i hit a baby by accident

(via what-am-ii-doing-here)

darbesaurus:

whorville:

My only talent is breathing

I said this to my mom and she just said “you have asthma, moron”

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

swagchat:

haliebrooke99:

swagchat:

man salads are the best thing in the world

Man, salads

no man salads

(via foreveralone-lyguy)

meandmrcomatose:

each year I get my dad a Toblerone for fathers day so obviously when I give it to him wrapped up he knows what it is. this year I thought I might make it a bit more difficult for him

I wonder if he’ll guess what’s inside

(via emilaugh)

manboobmaiden:

who decided being gay wasn’t manly? gay sex is technically twice as manly, you are literally doubling the amount of men in it

(via emilaugh)